In one of the Muppet movies (The Great Muppet Caper, I think), someone sang a song with these lyrics:
“If your eyes are quite tiny,
and your ears very big,
you can be fairly certain
what you are is a pig.”
For some reason this has stuck with me for decades, and I tend to hum it obsessively whenever cooking any pork dish. Not that I cook many pork dishes. Pork chops cooked on top of rice mixed with creamy condensed soup (see my dissertation on hotdish in the entry on stroganoff) is the one recipe I make with some regularity.
It certainly would never have occurred to me to stuff a pork roast with apricots and cream cheese, though I like both these ingredients very much. And it turns out that they do taste pretty good with pork roast. But I have to be honest: my rendition of this recipe came out looking like one of those caterpillars afflicted with parasitic larvae. You know, like this one:
As for the recent scandal of Miss Piggy and Kermie’s break up, I’m pretty sure it’s just a publicity stunt to drum up interest in their upcoming TV series. So don’t be sad. I’m confident they’ll be back together by sweeps week.